Anger Management

What is anger?

It is a mixture of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are associated with annoyance, or at the extreme end, hostility towards a situation or person. It has many triggers and for each person they are different. For one person lack of consideration on the road causes anger and for someone else their rage is triggered by social injustices suffered by others.

Anger expression can be strongly influenced by family and culture. In other words, how we come to express anger can be learned and also how we manage anger can be learned. This does not mean we are destined to manage anger poorly forever if we have previously learned bad management strategies. What is learned can be unlearned and new helpful learning can take place.

What does anger feel like?

When we are angry we often experience physical sensations such as heart palpitations, increased sweating, stomach upset, as well as the need to defend ourselves, whether physical, intellectual or emotional.

Anger arousal is part of the fight or flight response, along with fear and stress. Adrenaline and cortisol -the stress hormones- are released into the bloodstream, resulting in biological changes that assist us to face the crisis presented to us. These physical changes are powerful tools in helping us face danger, however they can be triggered inappropriately, or in situations where a calmer, more rational response would be more helpful.

When we are angry it can be difficult to look calmly at options and solutions. A state of anger is a short term survival mode and our capacity to consider long term consequences is limited. The anger response prevents us thinking of well thought out choices, and to consider how our actions will affect our lives and others lives.

Is anger always a negative thing?

No. Anger can signal to us that something is amiss and that something needs attention. It is a useful and normal emotion. However when your anger is being triggered too often, or you feel that your anger is causing problems in your life, your study/work or your relationships with people, it is no longer a helpful emotion.

Managing Anger

For the management of all psychological issues that are problematic 3 components are necessary; awareness, balance and control.

Anger management too, needs these 3 components.

1. AWARENESS –we need to be aware of our anger from its beginnings [not only when it has escalated us out of control]
and we need to be aware of our anger triggers
2. BALANCE- we need to learn strategies to calm ourselves, to rebalance, or to manage our anger in appropriate ways
3. CONTROL- if we have the above we are able to regain control

The worksheets below are designed to help you master the three components of effective anger management : awareness, balance and control.

If you have tried using some of the strategies on the worksheets and need further help, or would like to speak to someone about other ways of managing strong negative emotions or anger, please phone the Counselling Service to make an appointment.

Managing Anger Worksheet