Stages of Grief

Grief:
Grief is a normal response to loss. When we experience grief the ways we think, feel and behave are affected. Sometimes reactions are so powerful and changeable that it can feel like we are loosing our grip on reality. We sometimes also fear that if we allow ourselves to experience pain, the strong feelings like sadness, abandonment and anger will never stop. However, no matter how intense our feelings are they are temporary and while painful, experiencing the process of grief (see above) is a healthy way to say farewell to one loved and lost.

Shock:
Shock in a way protects us from being overwhelmed by loss. While in shock we may deny or find it hard to accept the reality of our loss. We may not even be able to make simple decisions or take care of everyday basics.

Suffering:
"Suffering" incorporates the period of grieving where life can seem chaotic and overwhelming. Feelings like anger, frustration, anxiety, guilt or depression may dominate. Anger at those perceived as responsible, anger at the deceased, or even anger at ourselves can make us feel guilty. We sometimes also feel guilty about still being alive when someone we care about has died. We may experience physical symptoms like appetite loss and sleep problems. These kinds of emotional and physical reactions are common and will stabilize and diminish over time. However, if you continue to feel overwhelmed seek professional help and support.

Recovery:
Recovery is about acceptance of the loss and remembrance with less pain. The goal is to reorganize life so that our loss remains important but not the main preoccupation of our lives. We move to a place where we are better able to accept the loss, resume a "normal" life and begin to look ahead with hope, reinvesting energy and emotion in our future.

What helps?
Be patient – go gently – our body, mind and heart need time to heal from loss.
Take daily commitments lightly - don’t over-extend when in emotional pain.
It’s ok to need comfort. Ask for, and accept help.

See also: For Some Ideas For Working With Grief

Counselling Service contact:
Phone: 86278433